When it comes to relationships, always ask yourself, “What’s in it for me?”
If you’re really in love with someone, you can’t catch his/her mono.
If you can’t bake or cook, back scratches are the way to a man’s human’s heart.
If you want to avoid serious relationships, the best thing to do is to involve yourself in as may love triangles as possible and wait for it to blow up in your face.
The opposite sex is attracted to pheromones, so never cover them up with soap, deodorant, etc.
If your man can’t read your mind, he’s not the one for you.
Find you a man who talks about you like Brian talks about plants.
Find you a man who looks at you like Alec looks at rocks.
Channel your inner gargoyle.
Once you’ve mastered the wink, take your flirtatiousness up a notch by trying the eye twitch.
Always post a picture of your first dates on social media so that your date knows you’re invested in the relationship.
Mixed signals mean mixed feelings. – Brian